Cute skinny girl with great body on public bus cuddling and kissing fat ugly cross-eyed kid. #storydoesNOTcheckout
Went to make a pb&j, realized we were out of jelly, but found fruit snacks. This is acceptable.
If your last name is plum, try to not be overweight and wear a purple shirt. Are you frakkin kidding me?
I’m laying down, naked, in the dark, doing absolutely nothing but controlling my breathing, and i’m STILL sweating. Fuck this…
Attention! All of you! Literally no one cares what youtube video you liked or favorited. We all wish you’d turn that shit off. That is all.
Doctors have built an artificial anus for a 55 year old farmer. It’s a surgery we’ll all need if Obama gets the tax increases he wants.
I’m walking around the Phys Ed building while eating a giant bag of Cookie Crisp. #fattyfattyfatfat
Wanna know an old trick to get the bill collectors to stop calling? PAY WHAT YOU OWE, DOUCHEBAG!
About me
Here glaring cold in the crystalline geometry of night, obscuring form and tracing faceless fears of a superhuman immensity in a patch of sand or a raptor's guileless shivering intensity, I'm only a visitor, an atom of atoms on a jutting red splattered synagogue of granite as it crouches literally into space . . . a frozen, amoral giant gazing heavenward forever . . .
