September 2011
2 posts
Cute skinny girl with great body on public bus cuddling and kissing fat ugly cross-eyed kid. #storydoesNOTcheckout
Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart…
August 2011
2 posts
Went to make a pb&j, realized we were out of jelly, but found fruit snacks. This is acceptable.
If your last name is plum, try to not be overweight and wear a purple shirt. Are you frakkin kidding me?
June 2011
2 posts
HUGE explosion on the Sun today http://goo.gl/QEipS
Who’s got a pool? Bre and I wanna go swimmin!
May 2011
2 posts
I’m laying down, naked, in the dark, doing absolutely nothing but controlling my breathing, and i’m STILL sweating. Fuck this…
Ugly old man walking dog with super hot blonde at his side. #lolita
March 2011
6 posts
Attention! All of you! Literally no one cares what youtube video you liked or favorited. We all wish you’d turn that shit off. That is all.
In Soviet Russia, ghost busts you!
Have you heard Kim Kardashian’s new song? No? Keep it that way.
Doctors have built an artificial anus for a 55 year old farmer. It’s a surgery we’ll all need if Obama gets the tax increases he wants.
I’m walking around the Phys Ed building while eating a giant bag of Cookie Crisp. #fattyfattyfatfat
Wanna know an old trick to get the bill collectors to stop calling? PAY WHAT YOU OWE, DOUCHEBAG!
You know me, and you seen me. You’ve seen my little downstairs mix-up.
February 2011
66 posts
I got somethin ta show ya. Ya know what that is? It’s Old Greg’s vagina! I got a mangina! I’M OLD GREEEG!
Some solid upsets on the main card tonight. #UFC 127, you are exceeding my expectations…
That knee was beyond illegal. A bummer for everyone involved.
Wow. Now that everyone’s gone, this place is so trashed! It’s like a fuckin landfill in here.
On my way to Winter Makeup with Arielle Hudson! Gonna be a fucking FANTASTIC night! =)
I’m on full tilt tonight, apparently. Fuck me.
I don’t have a PolySci degree, but shouldn’t Democrats NOT be running and hiding in other states?
Just lost out on $90 cuz my brand new laptop is a piece of shit.
What is the best way to start a weekend? On a Wednesday.
Want people to see how cute your baby is? Upload 239 pictures onto Facebook and tag all your friends in each of them. That’s not annoying.
1 tag
Hi, I recently learn that.. I am your half sister....
well fuck, spent a few too many hours of my life making out with my half sister…
Ask me anything
1 tag
If you could have any car you wanted, what kind of...
Mercedes Benz SLR McClaren. We’ve gone over this.
Ask me anything
Why do all these LCCC students keep saying 6 more days? You realize Spring Break is 2 weeks away, not 1, right?
I have the strength of a bear that has the strength of 10 gorillas.
no charging until it’s dead). Do this 2-3 times to maximize battery life.
Joke’s on you, God. I’m free will in action!
1 tag
Do you kiss on the first date?
yes, I’m old enough where kissing isn’t a huge deal, bruh.
Ask me anything
1 tag
What is something you hate about yourself?
my pituitary gland
Ask me anything
1 tag
How fast can you run a mile?
no idea anymore. My knees and spine have been utterly defeated, so I couldn’t tell you. I used to be able to, however, run a 6:45-7 minute mile, and my fastest was 6:37.
Ask me anything
1 tag
You've been given the option of a bionic body...
eyes, ears, and arms. Given the provided limitations, those are the most important 3 things, in that order. #4 would’ve been legs.
Ask me anything
1 tag
would you prefer lime or cherry jello in your...
tell those nigs to get their own shoes
Ask me anything
1 tag
you go to check your mailbox and find this fifty...
Chipotle
Ask me anything
1 tag
How often do you clip your toe nails? When do you...
not that often. I know it’s time when I injure myself or someone else with them.
Ask me anything
1 tag
What's your favorite quality about yourself?
my ability to emotionally detatch myself from any situation in order to better understand it and to better solve any given scenario.
Ask me anything
Worried that your perfume doesn’t turn heads like it should? Switch to cologne, bro.
Pissed off that we STILL don’t have flying cars yet? Drive off a cliff!
Cream cheese to the moon, mother fucker!
If one of these bathrooms doesn’t get vacant quick, I’m going to poop on the kitchen floor. This is unacceptable.
Don’t put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat, they’ll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings.
Shhh! I’m joining the ninja choir. We have to harmonize in silence, so shush.
Dance for me, go on. Oh, you were? I thought you were having a spaz attack.
Don’t tell your girlfriend you got her a Valentine’s Day gift if all you did was write “Happy Valentine’s Day” on your dick.
This is your driver speaking… or is it? Captain Paranoia!
Werdum removed Fedor’s aura of invincibility, but the dismantling by Bigfoot last night was much more brutal and dominating. Very intere …
Seriously, I’m just gonna have to call you anus breath from now on.